ЛюбовI’m still here.

I wanted to write this, because… well, I initially didn’t want to write it actually. I didn’t feel like sharing and that’s rare for me, but I guess a lot of things are different now. I still don’t feel the need to give an explanation for my „virtual disappearance“, but here we are.

It’s been a long road and a tough one. The life I knew, the life I was building disintegrated and I did call it forth. For the last two years I was regularly writing on pieces of paper „a new life“ and it took a thorough and complete distruction of what I was used to, for that wish to materialize. The old saying „Be careful what you wish for“ rings true to this day. But I did get my wish and I do have a new life now.

I started describing it, but then deleted the whole thing. See that’s one of the main things that really changed. I was so used to letting people in. So honest and open about everything in my personal life. But eyes wreak havoc. Especially eyes that live in wounded bodies. People are not bad, but comparison is how most of us function and that causes discrepancies in the energy. I was warned about that by people who saw the grid, the thought forms, the past, present and future, the patterns behind everything, but as stubborn and naive as I am, I did not listen. Now I know what they meant, because living in „virtual“ silence for just a couple of weeks has a tremendous impact already.

That being said… writing this is against my will in many ways, because it will cause noise in the air, my name being said, my life – discussed and picked apart and I will feel and probably even hear all that. That’s another thing. My ESP is evolving and extending rappidly in the last six months and that calls for certain measures being taken. Mainly… silence.

„The trees, the flowers, the plants grow in silence.
The stars, the sun, the moon move in silence.
Silence gives us a new perspective.“

Mother Teresa

I’m all about cancelling out the noise as best I can and not the one percieved by the ears. I’m talking about the mental noise. I know a lot of people won’t get it, but the ones that will, will know that there are no alternatives. My next chapter comes with a new set of rules that I have to follow whether people like that or not. And I heard a lot of you expressing sadness and disappointment in me „ghosting“ everybody like that, but you have to know that everything has a beginning and an ending and that’s just how life works. That’s why the buddhists practice non-attachment and I think all of us should.

All you need to know is that I’m good. I’m on my path. I’m loved and my cup is finally full again. I’m not „lost, or frozen, or gone… I was alive; I was alive in my own perfect world. I was in the blue horizon between heaven and earth.“ I feel safe and cared for. Adored. I’m blooming. So don’t worry about me, the transition was the best thing that ever happened to me and I met my present and possibly future along this path. Don’t mourn losing me. I’ll always be around. Whenever you call me, I’ll be there. Whenever you need me, I’ll visit you in your dreams and I’ll give you all the answers you need. Living in flux, but in peace with it, is crucial on this plane of existence. Practice flowing with life and not against it and you’ll be taken exactly where you need to be. If you trusted me so far, trust me on this one too. It’s the most important piece of the puzzle.

Love,
V.

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